Remembering Mount St. Helens 35 Years Later

Remembering Mount St. Helens 35 Years Later

Our Helper for Living Passionately for Christ

1 Peter 2:9 (GNV) "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal Priesthood, an holy nation, a people set at liberty, that ye should show forth the virtues of him that hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light..."       [1599 Geneva Bible]    

I have had it on my heart for a very long time--this subject of God’s call on my life, and the life of every believer, to live a life of holiness and completely set apart for His purpose. So many believers put their life, all that it’s consumed of, ahead of God’s purpose for their life. We don’t know ultimately what God’s total plan is for our lives, but if we study His Word, then we know many commands He gives us that are already there…we simply aren't obeying them. If we can’t obey the commands He has already given, why would He entrust us with the next phase of His plan for us? We have to show we are at least faithful to do the things He has already given us to do. He desires us to be His light in this dark world. Do we desire that same thing? Today, I read from 1 Timothy and Galatians, to be reminded by Paul how we can and should rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to strengthen us, help us, comfort us….guide us through everything so that we can be victorious even in perilous times. He has a lot to say in all of his writings about the cost of discipleship, the price we pay to truly live for Jesus, losing our lives for His sake.

1 Timothy 1:6-7 “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

These verses reach me in more than one way. Most people quote part of verse 7…”but God gave us not a spirit of fear…”. You will hear that a lot. And, it’s true. My faith in God has taken away my fear in man and many other “spirits”, I suppose we could say.

I also like to focus on verse 6, though. It brings the entire section into a different light, but it also encourages me in a different way:

1 Timothy 1:6 “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands,”.

This encourages me to strive to keep the flame alive in my heart, the flame that burns in me for Jesus. That fire is a gift from God. Not every Christian you meet is full of passion or zeal. This verse shows that Paul was reminding Timothy that he had this gift and he needed to focus on it, to keep it alive and never let it die down. I never want my fire to die down. Do you? Too many people let theirs die down before it ever really gets going good. Some let theirs die down even after their flame was burning for many years. It can happen. I pray, I mean I actually pray, that this never happens to me. I want to stay strong and faithful to the end. I already know that the troubles of life can cause a person to become weak and, at times, go astray. I know that because it happened to me. It happened to me when I was very young in my new faith and many trials hit me at once. Once I stepped off the straight and narrow path, it was a battle within me to get back into a right relationship with God. You see that I didn't say it was hard to get back “into church”. No, there’s a difference in those two actions. You can get back into the church building and still not be the Church, at least, not a functioning member of the Body. That is a serious mistake to believe that all is well because you attend church again. A right relationship with God involves the inward relationship and communion restored with Him, not the outward acts of trying to “be good” and following a strict set of rules. The very rules you try to obey cannot be obeyed without the help of the great Helper Himself! Why, you will know those true believers who have daily fellowship with the Lord and love Him above all else because there are certain signs, which I’m going to point out after I share what Paul says to Timothy next…

1 Timothy 1: 8-14 “Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher, which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me. Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.”

Now, there’s a lot of big messages that could be expounded upon in this one paragraph, but focus on a few small ones for now. Paul is urging Timothy, a young preacher, not to be ashamed of the Gospel nor of him (Paul) as he was a prisoner for the reason of preaching and teaching the message of Christ Jesus, as he was an apostle. He tells Timothy that this Gospel message, this holy calling he has to preach it, is the very reason why he suffers so greatly. And, he doesn't care about the suffering! He understands that that is the price we pay when we serve God and deliver the message of the Gospel to the world. Paul wouldn't and didn't back down. He even held his own praise and worship sessions in jail, much to the amazement of the guards and other prisoners, as well. He tells reminds Timothy, in a way as if he warns him, that he, too, has this holy calling on his life. Times were hard for Christians back then, especially the devout ones that liked to share their testimony of the power of our Lord…and Paul certainly had a great testimony. But, don’t think that they lived in such a different world back then, because they really didn't. They preached the Gospel in a part of the world where paganism had dominated for many years. They were the real deal when it comes to worshiping false gods. Our trials now aren't all that different though. In fact, in some sense, it may be worse. No, we aren't, in America, being imprisoned simply because we say we are Christians. But, hasn't it grown worse, in other ways? I don’t want to go into a whole separate topic, but in this modern day world, there are so many more who have let that fire die down in them. There’s a lot of temptation in our world now. The god of this world has made it so easy and comfortable, even, to just walk away from your true relationship with God. He has made it easy to say no to God’s calling or to just become stubborn or deaf to the Spirit…not answering your call properly. It’s hard to be a Christian because the flesh is weak, it wants to fit in and be accepted. The flesh wants to look like the world and act like the world…or, I could just say, the flesh wants to avoid saying “no” to many things it should say no to. This spiritual battle, warfare, has been going on forever. It was a battle when Paul was living and preaching and it’s a battle today. Back then, they were killed because of their faith. Today, under normal circumstances, we aren't killed because of our profession of faith. I consider it worse because of those great numbers of ones who are professing Christians, but, by way of their own life as their witness, continue to crucify Jesus and turn more people away from the Church than being a Light in this dark world. I realize that sounds harsh, but it’s not un-Biblical. People don’t like to hear the truth about things, but even more don’t want to talk about it. Today, we do have many gods that replace God. We have many false teachers that are so deceiving that Christians are listening to them daily and buying out their books, replacing, in large part, the Bible with the babbling of other books. We've bought into lies that are so numerous that I’m not even going to get into it here. But….the great news, the Truth….God is faithful to forgive us if we confess and turn back to Him. How do we get back to the place we need to be and have the power to live strong in the faith? Paul tells Timothy in the last part of that paragraph….”13 Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 14 By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.”

Paul says to Timothy “Don’t be ashamed of me or of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Yes, I’m a prisoner because of my faithfulness in preaching this Gospel, but you need to share in this suffering—suffering for Christ. This Word was entrusted to you to deliver to the people who have been entrusted to you. BY THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO DWELLS WITHIN US, GUARD THE GOOD DEPOSIT ENTRUSTED TO YOU.”

The characteristics that are supposed to be obvious in the lives of Spirit-filled believers are characteristics that are impossible to have without a source of power beyond your human nature, the Holy Spirit. Christians live in defeat every day because they don’t walk in the Spirit. Some believe they don’t need to seek the Spirit constantly for help, guidance, or comfort. I’m not going to criticize you if that’s what you believe. As for me, I believe what the Bible says, which is what God says, about living in and walking in the Spirit. His Word combined with our faith and the Holy Spirit can give us victory in areas of our lives where we would otherwise remain defeated. It’s His power that gives us courage and power to overcome the world. It’s not our own power. Paul knew how hard this life was, he suffered more than most, or probably all, of us ever will. He never forgot where he came from, where God brought him from…literally Jesus blinded him and he was led out of darkness into Light. He never missed anything he lost because he was so grateful for what he gained in Christ, and so sorrowful for the life he lived before that Divine intervention. We need to remember often what He has done for us so that our love doesn't “grow cold”. We have a great mission field right here in our own homeland, but the workers are few. Let’s rekindle the fire we once had and develop that love that we are called to have. We can show God’s love every day if we will seek Him and walk in the Spirit daily. The Holy Spirit who is promised to all true believers will guard your heart and mind and empower you to live the holy, sanctified life we are called to live. I never want to stop seeking after Him and having that hunger and thirst for Him.

Yes, there is a lot of loss involved in complete surrender of your life to Christ once you have received His salvation. What does it mean when Jesus says that we have to sacrifice everything, lose our own life, in order to be worthy of being His disciple? Well, it means you will give up all that you love that isn't Godly and you will commit your life to His will. You will put Him first in your life, in a literal way, not just in words. You will continue to grow more Christ-like and begin to despise the things you once loved or accepted as good…and in doing that you will lose even more things you hold precious—friends and even family. But, though they ridicule and shun you, you keep moving forward with Christ, knowing that losing relationships is just a price you pay—people prefer what’s evil over what’s good. That’s why He said (I’m saying this in my own words, not quoting directly) that you must hate all these relationships or you won’t be worthy to be called His disciple. He knew this opposition would occur. He didn't literally mean to hate your mother, father, wife, kids, and everyone else. That word—hate—was used to emphasize strongly that you have to love Him more than any other relationship or anything else in your life. If you can’t love Him the most—truly, in your heart, because He knows the intentions of the heart—then you won’t be able to fully commit to Him the way He commands you to.  The person who lived their life in complete rebellion and then transforms into a devout saint of Jesus Christ…they have a lot of chains to break, bondage to be freed from, ridicule to face, friends to lose, lives to lose. That’s correct; we lose our life for Him. If we call Him Lord, and He says that if we call Him Lord then we become His disciples, then we must lose our life for His sake. All the things in our lives that are against God’s holy calling, against His righteousness, those are, in large, the things which make up that life that we have to die to. If we fall into a trap of believing that it is as simple as saying, “Well, I believe in Jesus”….and that’s it, we are saying that the suffering of Christ and God’s plan of redemption is cheap. I find it so saddening that every day people live their lives no differently than before their salvation because they aren't willing to suffer any ridicule, any discomfort, or make any sacrifice—even though the One they now call their Lord sacrificed it all for them, for us all. Are you willing to step out of your own will, your comfort zone, and sacrifice your life for Him? I have made many sacrifices in my own life. I've been ridiculed and criticized by people I care about and love…and it hurts.  But, there are others who have suffered physical persecution; some who put their lives in danger and some who even die because they sacrificed it all to deliver this message that has been entrusted to all believers, just as it was entrusted to Paul and Timothy…and every believer since Jesus died and rose again—to be the ultimate sacrifice for us, so we could live in right relationship with God and have eternal life with Him. Looking around, I believe the biggest sacrifices we have to make right away is surrendering our lives to the Lord and truly placing Him first in our lives. Once we do that, then God will surely entrust us with another task. I want those tasks, those holy callings upon my life, to be revealed. I ask the Lord to prepare my heart for His will daily. He is faithful to do so and I’m excited about anything and everything He has in store for my life!

I will end on this note: This speaks volumes about the power of the Spirit in our lives. And, note that Paul says “if we live in the Spirit, then let us also walk by the Spirit”. That says to me that we do have to seek and rely upon the Spirit daily for power to live victoriously in this world.

Galatians 5:1-26  "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Behold I, Paul, say to you that if you receive circumcision, Christ will be of no benefit to you. And I testify again to every man who receives circumcision, that he is under obligation to keep the whole Law. You have been severed from Christ, you who are seeking to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace. For we through the Spirit, by faith, are waiting for the hope of righteousness. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything, but faith working through love. You were running well; who hindered you from obeying the truth? This persuasion did not come from Him who calls you. A little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough. I have confidence in you in the Lord that you will adopt no other view; but the one who is disturbing you will bear his judgment, whoever he is. But I, brethren, if I still preach circumcision, why am I still persecuted? Then the stumbling block of the cross has been abolished. I wish that those who are troubling you would even mutilate themselves.For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another."

That says a lot. We live by the Spirit indeed, but let us also walk by the Spirit daily. Are you walking in the Spirit daily? Use verse 22-23 as a checklist and do a self examination. Those characteristics are not natural to man, therefore they are considered the “fruit of the Spirit”. 

Filling in the Blanks.....and Giving Thanks

It has always been my desire to write in my blog on a regular basis; daily would be ideal. However, life has its way of...well....getting in the way of my ideas. I didn't realize it had been so long since I had posted and yet I have so many blessings I haven't shared between March and the present time. I feel compelled to catch up on that missed block of time before I move forward from here. Being a homeschooling mother, I may have to use a timeline format!

Counting Blessings....

Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice."

I'm always rejoicing in the Lord; always. Certainly I went through a dark period after the last blog that I posted in March 2014. It was a long and uncertain road, but I remained faithful as I followed God's lead--knowing His guidance would be the only right and sure direction as long as I kept focused on Him. There were so many obstacles along the way, so many failed attempts by the enemy to distract me. Here I am, though, and I will shout out His greatness and faithfulness in my life and catch you up on missed time...and maybe encourage you also. I should note, however, that I should not go so long without sharing my heart with you; you may understand why I say that soon...

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

 In the months following my last post, March 19th, I had several opportunities to recall and reflect upon this verse--and to help my children understand it as well. The last week of March, following a wonderful visit from my sister, brother-in-law, and niece, Tyson took the stage with his friends from our youth group at church and, for his first time, performed in front of judges in the Fine Arts competition. He was part of the human video team (it is a type of drama performance, for those of you who have never heard of it). I was so proud of him because he had the courage to step out of his comfort zone and step onto stage, finding out if he was able to do what we do here at home all the time very naturally--in front of an audience. I wasn't surprised to see that he is a great performer or that he is happy while engaged in acting; we have had our own "comedy show" here at home for a long time and I picked up on his passion for acting as we always performed our personal, comical skits. It sounds a bit strange to some, perhaps, but it came as a natural coping mechanism for us as we tread through some rough waters. I say it came naturally because it really did. We started out by making jokes about situations that were hurtful; by acting them out and adding humor. The more we laughed, the more we reenacted the situations. Back then, we had a lot of situations to laugh our way through. Those times brought us closer, brought us through, and taught us to express our joy even in the most painful times of life. Not that I miss the daily suffering we endured back then, but I will say that I do miss all of our "comedy show" skits. We still have our dramas, but not as many. Perhaps God was preparing Tyson for part of what laid ahead for him in Albemarle while at the same time showing me how to help my son (and me) get through some tough times. I thank God for that lesson learned---Tyson really developed the talent and passion for acting (and music, which I will get to later) and the joy he had on the day that two youth leaders confronted him about joining the human video team...that was priceless. Those women will never know how they touched his life just by asking him to join the drama team. It's sometimes the little things we do that impact people the greatest. Now, they are only weeks away from performing at the Fine Arts Convention again, which I am sure will be a blessing to everyone who sees the performances. 

In April, we were getting ready to wind up Co-Op for the year. The time was also drawing near for Tyson to take his first standardized testing of his homeschooling life...and I was worried. This lesson would be for both Tyson and me. And, in a sense, for everyone else in our lives who had been skeptics of our decision to turn to homeschooling. I worried and feared and cried and prayed...all the things I had been doing the whole school year, but a lot more. Tyson seemed much more calm and that, in itself, even worried me. You have to understand that I began homeschooling him with no clear understanding of where he was academically. The analysis I received upon withdrawing him from his last school was not an acceptable analysis to me; it only told me that his abilities were not known and that he was, indeed, behind in actual work. I knew he wasn't incapable of being on target or even ahead of target, though. I spent our first year of homeschooling confused, worried, praying, hoping, doubting, and frustrated...to be brief about it. I eventually decided to focus on the language arts area--namely on reading comprehension, vocabulary, grammar, and punctuation--and on building up his confidence; telling him that he is intelligent and trying to instill a love for learning in him. So, the test day arrived. We drove an hour away to the testing site and I left him there for over an hour to complete the testing. When I returned, Tyson and I only made eye contact as we passed--he was walking out, I was walking in to hear the results. His facial expression didn't give me much hope. Oh, but when the test administrator began explaining the results to me--well, I'm certain he thought I was crazy for a minute, at least. Then I explained to him the negative reports I had been given at the previous school just one year earlier. He laughed at me and said he understood my position. In short, Tyson had advanced, overall average, three grade levels...or grade equivalency levels. The ride from Matthews, NC back to Albemarle, NC was interesting. I was torn between whether I should just cry or pull over and roll in the grass for a minute. We rode quietly for a while; Tyson staring at the test results. Then, my favorite song at the time, Broken Hallelujah, started playing on the radio. God had already assured the victory long before, but I suppose I had been beaten down by outside situations and needed to be reminded that I can do all things through Christ Jesus. Tyson just needed the confirmation, for the first time ever, that he really can do all things through Christ Jesus. He heard me preach it. He saw me live in belief and by faith. He even saw the evidence in my life. He needed to see evidence in his own life, though. And, that day, God showed us both that we can do all things through Him. Again, after such a long break in writing, the time is approaching for Co-Op to end and Tyson's second standardized testing. I'm not so stressed this time. I feel as if God was pretty clear in His message to me last year---all the stress and tears were so pointless. 

Although that was a day I will never forget--May 7th, 2014, three days later, Tyson took on another challenge that would be a milestone for him. A lesson for us both, too. Tyson is a runner. He loves to run and he runs well. I entered him in the Hershey's Track and Field Event here in Albemarle. We were excited and still stoked about that test a few days earlier. However, as usual, I had fear creeping in and a whole bunch of reasons to justify my fears. Now, I know it was silly, but it is hard for other people to understand where I am coming from concerning a lot of things because they don't know our past life. Tyson has taken a lot of "hits" in his young life and I always have an immediate thought of concern about him pop in my head when anything comes up. Even when we found out that my husband was going to stay in Albemarle, NC permanently, I instantly thought of Tyson because he had been recovering from a horrible public school experience for about five years and I was afraid to disrupt his life; afraid of causing him to suffer through the emotional pains he had finally overcome. By my new nature, I quickly remembered that God would supply all our needs and, even though I love my sons with all I have in me, God loves them more. I had peace about his welfare upon moving, but knew that the saying goodbye part would still be difficult for him. I tried to keep him involved in things he loved and running was one activity I encouraged. He is very thankful for his ability to run, especially since he had double Achilles lengthening surgery in 2010 and the surgeon wasn't very encouraging about the recovery...he said "Some people recover completely, some don't. Some recover quickly, some never do. It's really not something that can be predicted." That year, Tyson was not only fully recovered in only a few months, but he was competing in the annual race at his school's field day...and won. Still, I worried (I do that a lot, it seems). Tyson was excited about running and I was nervous. I signed him up for the wrong events because I have no clue what anything means in the world of track and field. Ideally, Tyson should have been entered in the "dashes" only, but I entered him in the 800m run and the 200m dash. And, for the field event, the softball throw. He was upset about the softball throw, but he practically threw the softballs from one end of the football field to the other. He won that event. So, the races...well, he did, technically, place first in the 800m run--because he was the only runner in his age level. I'm not sure if he even remembers the actual run. However, he ran the first lap so fast that everyone was amazed. I knew he had three more laps, though, so I was a little nervous. Tyson never quits anything physical, even if he is in pain. When he began stopping on the third lap, I began panicking. It is so silly looking back now, but I was terrified when he completely quit running for a minute and then barely finished the last lap. Tyson never quits. He was light headed and dizzy. We barely got him to the vehicle after the event was over. Oh, I forgot to mention that he had to run that 200m dash immediately after that excruciating 800m dash. A couple of hours, a long rest, and lots of waters later, he was fine. I now know the differences in the runs and dashes and he knows to drink lots of water in the days prior to a track event. I have to say, though, it was still a victory because he kept going even when I'm sure it was dangerous to do so. I was proud of him that day. He kept going, even when it was nearly impossible. I passed him a note as he waited nervously to run that 800m run...words that reminded him of scriptures he knows well..."All that matters is that you finish the race." He still has that note pinned above his desk.

We had a few great moments along with a few low points over the next few months. I enjoy watching my children grow and I thank God daily for all of the blessings He bestows on us daily. There are so many blessings that I can't cover each one in a single blog post, but I wanted to cover a few big ones. Mainly, I chose to share these few events because I have been thinking much about how God takes us places that we wouldn't go on our own. And, it is His strength and power that supplies all that we need to accomplish whatever task He has for us. When we have faith and just obey Him, even when we are afraid, He will bless us. He understands that we have fears, but He is glad when we choose to obey His call even in that moment of fear. I've learned so much over the past few years and I'm hoping to finally be able to write in this blog more often so I can share so much more, but one wonderful realization that I have had is that, just like Peter when he was walking towards Jesus on the water and the weather got crazy, he was suddenly afraid, he took his focus off of Jesus, and he began to sink. Then, he cried out to Jesus to save his life. Well, that can apply to everyday life for us. We are going about doing what it is that the Lord calls us to do and, it never fails, something happens--people treat us terribly, someone we love gets sick, financial hardship hits us--and we start to focus on the problems and not on the purpose of Jesus. Our eyes become fixed on the things we see here, the things hurting us, and we begin sinking. Next thing you know, we are like Peter, crying out for Jesus to save us from losing our life. I know how hard it is to overlook painful circumstances, believe me. Even recently I have had to deal with a heavy load of burdens. I don't have to go into details, but I will point out that, thank the Lord, I have learned to be content in all circumstances, like the Apostle Paul pointed out about his own spiritual journey [Philippians 4:11 Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.12 I know how to be abased and live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and all circumstances the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want.13 I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].]  Not that I would compare any trials I have had to the trials he endured, still I have learned these excellent qualities, which any Christian can develop if we keep our focus on God and not the god of this world. I certainly haven't been imprisoned, beat, stoned, shipwrecked, left for dead, or any of the many sufferings he endured. However, at the end of his life, as he sat in a dungeon type cell for prisoners facing execution, he relayed in his last letter a message that would infer that he was cold (bring me my cloak, which he said twice), he felt abandoned and only had Luke with him, and he was spiritually in need of encouragement (he requested for Mark to come minister to him and to bring his cloak and the parchments when he came...as quickly as he could). I can relate to the emotional side of that despair. I've been alone here plenty of times in North Carolina. I have felt the hurt of having been ripped apart verbally with no cause on my behalf. I've suffered through the sadness of being torn away from people I once had close relationships with. Yet, in all those things, I still got back up, wiped my tears away, and kept moving forward with my eyes set on the eternal, not the temporal. I take comfort in knowing that I will see my loved ones again, whether it's here on earth or in our real home. I have concluded that, in all the goodness of God--in all the great and wonderful blessings He pours out upon us--still, it is not about us. It is all about Jesus and the Cross...and it always has been.

I pray that whatever storms you may have to weather, that you will always remember that God is the anchor of our soul, the Rock of our salvation, our Refuge forever.

I used to be consumed by fears-- many of them being fears of dying. The Lord diminished those fears and has been teaching me to quit fearing those things because worry and fear wouldn't change it anyway. Instead, He has opened doors for me to live in His liberty and glorify His name in many ways....whether through music, art, teaching, or writing. I still have my moments; the moments of doubts about my abilities to teach or raise my kids, the moments I wish I could go back in time and curl up with my mother and cry, the moments when I feel like no one truly knows me except God. I have always taken comfort in Psalm 91, but in so many more passages of scripture also. I know that God has always been and will always be faithful until the end.

Intertwined with the painful times I have experienced in the past year, I have had some amazing moments that I can't close without mentioning. For one, my husband...what a work God has already done in him and will continue doing. I loved watching his baptism in September 2014. Friends...the Lord has put some great friends in my life whom I believe will always be in my life from here on. Family...we were able to visit Florida in November 2014 and see family that we haven't seen since we moved and some we have, but still enjoyed a great Thanksgiving with my husband there also. Our second Christmas here just seemed so fantastic, full of love from our church family and a nice mental break from schooling. We focused on the true purpose of celebrating Christmas and also took a rest from the stresses of life. Lastly, music, Ah, I got my violin and my keyboard...and have been making music since. It is good for me to worship God through music and He has shown me that He can give me the wisdom and ability to do even the things others think are small. He cares.

 I know that truly, "I can do all things though Christ Jesus which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13  

God bless you greatly and I pray it will not be long before you can read another blog post from me!