....For Such a Time as This?

There certain verses of scripture that inspire me to write about specific times or parts of my life. This morning, as I was reading this particular section from the book of Esther, I was flooded with thoughts I wanted to share. This part of scripture has come to me many times and I've been led to it many times since I moved to Albemarle last May.

Here, in this passage, Mordecai is speaking to Esther’s servant, sending her a message to let her know that, as the queen, she could use her position to save the Jews (her own people) from being killed. He tells her, even though he doesn’t say God’s name, that God has set this all up, put her in this position, for this very purpose and if she kept silent and allowed the Jews to suffer, someone else would rise up to rescue them, but her and her family would all perish because of her failure to do what God had chosen and called her to do:

Esther 4:13-14 (The Voice) 

Mordecai: 13 Tell Esther, “Don’t be fooled. Just because you are living inside the king’s palace doesn’t mean that you out of all of the Jews will escape the carnage. You must go before your king.  14 If you stay silent during this time, deliverance for the Jews will come from somewhere, but you, my child, and all of your father’s family will die. And who knows? Perhaps you have been made queen for such a time as this.”

[Of all the books in the Bible, Esther is unique because God is never once mentioned explicitly. Still, for those who know God and who know history, God is in the story, behind it, above it, beneath it. He is the main actor in history, even if He is not acknowledged. Here, Mordecai shows great wisdom. The Jews, God’s chosen people, will be delivered whether Esther involves herself or not. Divine Providence has ways and means that go beyond human understanding. Still Providence has made Esther queen for a purpose, a purpose she cannot easily escape.]                    --The Voice—

I like the way The Voice translation explains it, but I will include the same verse from the Amplified version also, because I like the Amplified Bible, J 

Esther 4:13-14 AMP  “13 Then Mordecai  told them to return this answer to Esther, Do not flatter yourself that you shall escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews.14 For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance shall arise for the Jews from elsewhere, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion?"

Have you ever been in a position in which you knew that God had set it up and put you there for just that time or just for some situation that had arose? I certainly have. The story of Esther really inspires us because she was put in a very peculiar and dangerous situation. She was confused, heartbroken, but also afraid. Yet, Mordecai’s message to her reminded her that she had to be courageous because, even though she would have to risk her life, she was put in a position in which she could influence the king.

God calls us to do things that are uncomfortable and even scary to us at times, but He will sustain us. We have to willingly obey His call, but He will never call us to do something and then leave us to do it alone. He will provide all that we need to do whatever He calls us to do. I was afraid when God called me to leave everything I knew, everything that was familiar and comfortable to me, and move far away, to a place I couldn’t even pronounce the name of, and much less know anything about it. I was comfortable where I was. I had a home that was still new to me and I had loved since the day we saw it. I loved the wide, open fields and the wooden fence posts that went down the property line and was covered with blackberry bushes and grape vines, and home to baby birds in their neat little nests. I was mesmerized by the skies at sunrise and sunset. And, the hummingbirds that fought constantly, right before my eyes, as they tried to feed on the nectar of the tiny buds that were on the “Hot Lips Salvia” bushes I had planted and had flourished, each one hosting hundreds of blooms. Those hummingbirds, each amazing me as I watched them, made a nest in a nearby tree and had a family there. The tiny hummingbird babies, first appearing to be bugs, locusts in particular, were beautiful miracles that I was so fascinated with. I may never see a baby hummingbird that small again, so young that it wasn’t yet afraid of us humans. God blessed me by displaying His gentle, yet powerful, hand in the creation of something so beautiful, detailed, and fragile.

There were many other wonders and small things alike that I adored about this place I called home for a year. However, although I had the ability to see and admire the beauty of these gifts from God, that same home had also been the place where I dwelled during the biggest storm of my life; a storm which brought me to my knees, crushed my heart, and led me straight back to my God, my Father, who would carry me through it all and create a new heart in me and prepare my heart for His purpose. Not only did this storm set the stage for God to transform my heart, it also set the stage for God to move in my son’s heart as he watched me overcome many trials and knew it was God, God alone, who was working the miraculous in my life. So, that home has bittersweet memories. There are many memories of unspeakable pain and chaos I had never experienced, but there were the most magnificent displays of God’s handiwork all around it and there were some of the most joyful memories made there with my children, most specifically my oldest son. As I always tell people, God indeed transformed the inner me in a rapid “tear down-rebuild” or “destruction-reconstruction” project that year, as I completely surrendered to Him and asked Him to change me and prepare my heart for whatever His plan was for me. He answered that prayer request and I am thankful. An extra blessing added to all He did for me, though, was that He began this great work in my oldest son. I had no idea, could have never dreamed it even, that God was going to drastically change our lives in nearly every way, just a year down the road. Had it not been for the very meticulous way that God set everything up, the happy moments and the hurtful ones, my spiritual growth would have been much slower and my oldest son would have fallen to pieces when we moved away.  God had blessed him with self-confidence, courage, and a measure of understanding of Himself that he never had before. I suppose that it could be described of him the way Job once said to God…Job 42:5 “  Before I knew only what I had heard of You, but now I have seen You.” He saw God’s power in my life and in our lives in many ways over this one year period, he had come to understand that, even though it was not easy and was confusing, God was truly our Jehovah-Jireh and was all we needed. He would pave our ways and provide all we needed in life.

Aside from this place I had called home, I had this church I was attached to greatly; it was my spiritual home, I suppose. I had prayed a year earlier for a church that met the needs of my whole family, everyone’s spiritual needs. We left the church I had attended, on and off, since I was thirteen years old. We tried a couple other churches, but God led me to this church and the first day we attended, God let me know that it was the church He wanted me a part of. There is where my two oldest sons began thriving spiritually and socially, as they were meeting new friends while they were learning more about God. I personally felt at home and never wanted to miss my women’s Sunday school class. I loved to see the joy of my children as they fell in love with their church family also and, for the first time, were truly becoming acquainted with God on a deeper level. The pastoral staff and all the church family were so important to us and played such a vital role in our lives during this stormy season we were going through. We always felt God’s presence and peace when we were there, no matter what was going on in our lives at the time. So, it was terribly difficult for me to leave that church. I knew I would always have an attachment there, but it was also there that God spoke through others and gave me confirmation (as I was struggling with knowing for sure that God wanted us to move) that He had a purpose for me in Albemarle, NC. It was one particular night that a person on the pastoral staff gave me a message, a scripture to meditate upon, that drove the message home to me, was the “writing on the wall” for me, so to speak. Perhaps we were just temporary guests there and maybe we weren’t noticed by a lot of people even, but, to us, that church was monumental in our life journey, leaving a lifelong impression upon our hearts.

Now, family is always hard to be separated from, whether it is blood family or spiritual family. I don’t want to get too far off track by going into detail here, since I could write a lot on this subject alone. I will say that I learned two major things in the area of saying goodbye to people. First, God has a way of “drying up your brooks” in some cases, making it easier to say goodbye and walk away. Secondly, you have to just trust God in all other cases. He calls you to go somewhere, to do something for Him. He will take care of you, in everything that concerns you He will be concerned for also. There were loved ones that I said goodbye to and as I walked away, I knew I probably wouldn’t see them again here on earth. The other loved ones in my life, I just pray and put my confidence in my Provider, that He will keep them safe and well. And, if something difficult comes about, He will perfectly work it all out just the way He always lays out plans so detailed and perfectly. Every little detail of every single aspect of creation is in His mighty hand and He, being perfect in knowledge and all powerful, knows exactly what He is doing. If knows the number of hair on our heads, He certainly knows every other detail about us and constantly has our best interest in His plans. I am a lover and advocate of Psalm 139, always telling people to read it in order to get an idea of how well God is acquainted with us, yet, no matter how many times I read it myself, it still blows my mind…I can never wrap my mind around it-how intimately He knows us and is actually present with us all the time.

The months leading up to our move were bittersweet. The excitement of a new life in a new place was overwhelming, but so were all the heartbreaking moments…such as the long ride home the day I picked my oldest son up from his last day at his school, the school that had been such a huge part of his life since he was 7 years old. The staff loved and nurtured his once broken heart and made him feel secure and safe. He had teachers that encouraged him in special ways that truly touched his heart. He had friends that he had known for many years and, since it was a small school, they were a tightly knit group. So, that whole day I prayed and thought of how hard it probably was for him. When I picked him up, I could tell he was sad. Then he told me that, for the most part, no one acted like they even cared. Those words broke my heart and we were silent all the way home. I knew he would be okay, but right then, he was hurting. It was similar our last day going to church. He didn’t want to leave. I cried in the sanctuary, but only one person was there to speak to me and she told my son and I that we would be okay, that all we need is Jesus and each other. I was grateful that this particular one was there to say those words because she happened to have a special connection with my son already, prior to attending this church. He knew her well. We finished our goodbyes over that last week and drove out of our yard, with all we owned packed in a moving truck following us, at 4 o’clock in the evening on a Friday. It was strange watching that familiar town fade away in the rearview mirror as we kept driving, but my heart was full of hope for whatever it was that lay ahead. We drove all night until, at about 4 o’clock Saturday morning, we drove into Albemarle, North Carolina. The moment we drove into town, I felt something come over me and I knew it was God’s Spirit telling me that this is where we belong.

Our life here has been absolutely amazing. I feel God has blessed me for my obedience to Him. When I felt lost, I sought Him for wisdom. When I was afraid, I stood strong on His Word and knew, because of my faith in His goodness and power, that He would take care of everything. I took the biggest step of faith ever and He has rewarded me greatly. He has given me prosperity; prosperity in the sense which I believe He truly means when He says He will prosper His people…prosperity of my soul, the growth of my relationship with Him, the gift of a wealth of wisdom and knowledge that He generously gives to me as I continue to seek Him.

By no means would I compare my circumstances to the extremity of Esther’s circumstances, where her decisions could have determined whether she lost her own life or saw many lives of her own people lost. I’m very thankful that I haven’t faced those types of situations, where the confusion still clouds your mind, but the decision you make has such an impact on lives…as in whether there would be life or loss of life. But, in a sense, I compare the situation in the way God aligned everything, set it all up just right, to put Esther in this position. She was no one of special status, yet God chose her to be a person who would save her people, He chose a person who the world then probably considered a “nobody” and put her in this important place. There was something special about her. God knew that, ultimately, Esther would keep her faith in Him and make that bold decision to go before the king without being invited; an act that would either result in the rescue of her people from an impending slaughter or her punishment by death. I didn’t face that sort of complex decision with those serious results. Or, perhaps I could have. From the moment we arrived here, our lives have changed completely in nearly every aspect. I have felt like this is where my home has been all along, but I just wasn’t physically here yet. My children have thrived here and their lives have been so blessed in many ways. I just can’t go into all the ways we have been blessed here, it would take far too long to write it all out. I will just say that I have always felt that this place was perfect and also that God has brought me here for some purpose. I don’t know what that purpose is yet, but it’s a strong urging in my heart that won’t die down. I know, without a doubt, that God has brought me here for something specific and I know that something great is about to take place in this city. I have known that since late July, and God has confirmed it over and over again. To me, doing anything that God wants me to do is great. I know that this assignment is different, though; it is a special assignment. I’m embracing every moment, everything He teaches me, every gift He bestows upon me, every opportunity He gives me to serve Him…I know we had to leave everything we knew, everything familiar and comfortable to us, and we had to move to this place we never knew of and never heard of—and I once worried and doubted, but I stepped out in faith and I now know that we were brought here “for such a time as this”.

How might our lives have been had I not stepped out in faith and followed God's will for my life, leaving all behind and moving to a strange territory? Would our lives be so blessed had I refused to obey my God?

Esther's story is a story of destiny being determined by faith-her story is in extreme circumstances. We all face decisions that come down to whether we are willing to trust and obey God or choose to trust our human reasoning, which goes against God's nature. Those of us who know Him well, we know that, even if it is scary, we have to obey because He knows what He is doing and our destiny as He plans is the destiny we all long for deep inside....even those who don't know or understand Him long for the destiny only He can give us. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone when God calls for you to. He never promised He would keep our lives comfortable, He did promise to keep us, though.

Thank you for reading! I pray you were encouraged or inspired in some way as you read it. Please take the time to leave feedback, if you would. <3